The Point of Diminishing Returns

by Steve Lazarowitz

I have a confession to make. I didn't vote this year. I make no apologies about it. More and more, it seems like whoever I would vote for would disappoint me anyway, whether I voted for George "I will not raise taxes" Bush Sr. or Bill "I did not inhale" Clinton. I think the parties have more in common than they care to admit.

Another reason I ignored my civic duty is that I live in New York City. I could have voted for Yosemite Sam and still the Democratic Candidate would get the benefit of New York's Electoral Votes. They say every vote counts. That might be true elsewhere, but not here in the Big Apple.

Which brings me to Florida. I happen to like Florida. Well, I happen to like warm weather and Walt Disney World, which to me IS Florida. My mom lives in Orlando now. It was only a matter of time. Apparently there's some cosmic law that states that Jewish New Yorkers must move to Florida by a certain age. It's almost as if in the winter of life, you have to migrate to a warmer climate.

Yet if any state was going to be the place for a showdown, perhaps Florida is the most appropriate. The battle lines between the east coast of Florida and the west is clearly drawn. The west coast of Florida are generally conservatives, while the east coast is generally liberal. It's almost like two separate states in one.

That's because south Florida IS New York relocated, where on the West coast they're still flying the confederate flag. I wish this was an exaggeration born of literary genius, but unfortunately, I've been there and seen it with my own eyes.

And of course, Florida looks more like a male sex organ than any other state, which makes it even more appropriate, for surely, no matter who ends up president, the American people have been screwed.

Apparently, the supreme court has decided that it doesn't matter who received more votes. There was a deadline, Florida could not count the votes properly (or could, we'll never know) and in the end, one person will be president without ever really knowing who won.

The truth is, I don't really care WHO is president, because I believe no one can really make a difference. Political momentum has made it impossible for anyone to do anything but maintain the status quo. All we can do is watch people fight about nothing.

Gun control. Does it really matter at this point? Anyone can buy a gun. I can buy a gun and I don't want one. I know my temper. But you can have all the gun control laws you want and they'll be about as effective as telling people they can't copy video tapes. That's a Federal Law too, you know.

So soon we'll have a new president and, at the time of this writing, it looks like it'll be George W. Bush. I have to confess I'm almost relieved. Bush will get into office and he'll have four to eight years to plan and execute his agenda. Am I convinced it will make a difference? No. Will the American people get tired of it not making a difference? Not as long as they can keep the drama alive.

Don't you see it? Day after day, week after week, we've drawn battle lines. Party lines. As long as the conflict remains central, nothing CAN be accomplished. We need a third party, stronger than both the other parties. We can call it the Lets All Get Along Party, or the Sit Down and Shut Up Party, but either way, we need to do something that no political party has been able to do in decades, or maybe ever.

We need to start working on the source of the problems and not the symptoms.

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